Kiss Me
by destinationXoblivion
Summary: Axel is absolutely infatuated with the new member, and will stop at nothing to have him. Such devotion will surely end in tragedy. Or will it? Warning: yaoi, rape, lemons, mpreg. Please, if this offends you, don't read it.
1. Lonely, Lost, Lacking

Disclaimer: Seriously, you all know I don't own this, right? Right.

Warnings: Yaoi, rape, lemons, mpreg

**Chapter 1: Lonely, Lost, Lacking**

He had the purest of gold hair, matching with an angel's face – perfect lips, wide blue eyes; perpetually innocent. The new member was smaller than Demyx, cuter than Demyx, and Axel noticed. He immediately gravitated to the scared nobody, a comforting hand for a lonely boy to hold onto.

"You okay, buddy?" Axel said, concerned as he crouched next to the new member. His pretty cheeks were flushed and tearstained, mouth pouting adorably as he shook his head. For the first time in his memory, Axel swooned under the attention of this boy. He placed a hand on the younger's shoulder. "Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

Another shake of that perfect head. Axel conceded, sitting against the wall and waiting in silence. In a sputter of sobbing, the boy spoke.

"Where am I?" He asked sadly. His voice was perfect, too, childish and so soft.

"This is Castle Oblivion. We're in the World That Never Was." Axel cringed – it wasn't the most reassuring name for a place.

"I want to go home!" He whined pathetically, a few tears leaking from bright blue eyes. Axel patted his shoulder softly.

"Where is home, kid?"

"I d-don't remember!" The boy sobbed, frustrated. Axel boldly grabbed his hand. The younger looked up immediately at the redhead, shocked.

"I'm Axel," he said, never letting his eyes leave the boy's. "I'll take care of you here. I'm your friend, got it memorized?"

The boy nodded. "I'm…Roxas…" he said, testing the new name out. Axel mentally gasped, he recognized that anagram.

"Roxas." Axel repeated. He loved it. "Well, Roxas, what do you say we go meet the other members? They're waiting to see you."

"Okay. I've already met…Xemnas, was it?" He pondered.

"Yeah, our Superior. He gave you your name, didn't he?"

"He did…he said another name before that, though, but…I don't remember. He said it didn't matter anymore."

They walked the rest of the way to the meeting room in silence, Axel looking down often at the little blonde still clutching his hand fearfully. He squeezed reassuringly as he opened the door.

Axel proudly paraded Roxas in, enjoying the curious and, in Demyx's case, envious stares.

"Roxas!" Axel announced loudly. The congregation went into an uproar.

"Too young, by far!" Came one call.

"But he's so tiny, Xemnas!" Cried another, "How d'you expect _him_ to fight?"

Xemnas raised his hand, demanding silence. His deep voice was quiet, but commanding.

"Roxas will be a fine member. He is stronger than you take him for, all of you. Just you wait."

The members' tune changed immediately with Xemnas's decree.

"Roxas, huh?" Came an eager voice matched with a magnificent head of pink hair. "I'm Marluxia."

"Nice to meet you, Marluxia," Roxas said politely.

"Nice to meet you, too! He's cute, Xemnas. I like him!"

Roxas met all the members, and was fondest of Marluxia and Axel. He told Axel in confidence that Saïx and Xigbar frightened him, at which Axel laughed loudly.

Roxas didn't have a room yet; Naminé had yet to draw it, so Axel just took him back to his. The walls were the same pristine white as the rest of the castle, luminescent under the bright light of Kingdom Hearts. Most everything else, he noticed, was black. Sheets, pillows, nightstands, lamps, everything was black. A small fire extinguisher lay used next to the closet.

"Do you have many fires here?" Roxas asked.

"Nah, that's kinda just a…just a me thing." Axel replied, running a hand through the back of his hair.

"You cause fires?" He was worried, started to back himself against the door.

"C'mere, kid. Hold out your hand." Axel said softly, luring Roxas back over. He held his hand out as was expected, and Axel lit a blossom of flames in his palm. The boy initially screamed, dropping his hand, but Axel put it back in place, holding it steady. "Trust me."

The flames licked his fingers, but the burning never came and Roxas smiled to see himself controlling something so dangerous. The redhead watched him with gentle green eyes, tipping his hands to catch the flames and toss them back into the boy's.

"How do you _do_ that?" The blonde said, still grinning broadly. He was but a child after all, Axel reminded himself. Just 14, and such a little thing at that. Look but don't touch, look but you can't touch.

"We here all have certain…elements that we control. Mine is fire."

"What about the rest of them?" He demanded.

"Well…hmm…let's think. Um, Xemnas doesn't really have an _element_ per say, but he has these crazy powerful lasers he uses. Xigbar, he's number two, you're gonna have to remember this someday, he controls gravity and he has this _amazing_ gun. Xaldin, I'm going in order here, he controls wind. Has these spears, don't make him mad. Vexen…damn…creepy guy, really. Don't like him much, and he can freeze you solid in seconds! Lexaeus, the big strong guy? Controls earth, rocks and all that stuff. Zexion, he has that pretty blue-grey hair, remember? He can sense things, like where people are, and he can duplicate himself as well as turn into others. Saïx…how do we explain this…he's just crazy. Stay away from him at all costs. Eight is me, and you know what I do. Nine…Demy. That'll be Demyx to you, you can be sure. He plays the most wonderful music, and he can do a lot with water. Lack of confidence, but he tries, poor kid. Luxord controls time, Marluxia controls plants, I keep telling him the pink hair is a little much, but 'it matches his scythe' so whatever. Larxene…scary girl. Electricity is her thing, and she gets angry easily. Marluxia's best friend, she is. You get in with him and you're probably in with her. Then…there's you."

"And what do _I _do?" Roxas asked, brain still trying to remember all the members that Axel listed in such quick succession.

"Dunno," Axel said, flopping down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling, avoiding Roxas's blue eyes. He knew what he'd _probably_ do, and that was why Xemnas prized him so highly. Roxas cautiously lay down next to him, sharing the pillow as he too looked upward.

Axel looked over as the boy closed his eyes. Green eyes looked over the tiny body, the perfectly flat stomach, the thin arms, the soft hands. _Look but don't touch, Axel. He's scared enough without you groping him, now isn't he? _Demyx would have been another matter entirely. When _that_ boy needed comforted, he wanted your hands all over him. Maybe…maybe Roxas needed something like that, too. He ran a gentle hand over Roxas's shoulder, and the boy broke down in tears. Not was he was expecting, but he could work with it. He pulled the boy into his arms, tucking Roxas's head neatly into the crook of his neck. He moved closer to Axel, who rested his head on top of his blonde hair. Warm hands massaged his back as his mouth moved closer to a small ear.

"It'll be okay, kid. You'll be alright." It was easy to say, but would not be easily true. A boy his age and size would need protected from the horrors of their world, and Axel was only too willing to play the knight this round. So Axel watched his charge sleep, a prince among peasants in this castle, blissfully unknowing and innocent. There was a knock on the door, and Axel softly laid Roxas's head on the pillow as he answered it.

"I wish to see Roxas in my rooms tonight." Xemnas commanded, and then exited. There was no denying a direct order from the Superior.

Let the initiation begin.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**Kiss Me**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

All reviews and comments will be appreciated! Flame if you must, I suppose. If you do, surely I have done something to deserve it.


	2. Whispers in the Dark

(Author's Note: Thank you for all my lovely reviews! I enjoyed every one of them!)

WARNING: This is the rape chapter.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 2: Whispers in the Dark

Axel walked slowly back over to the bed, not wanting to wake the blonde just yet. He knew what awaited him once those blue eyes opened – he had gone through the same thing himself when he was new. It wasn't anything he wanted Roxas exposed to, but it wasn't anything he could protect him from. When Xemnas wanted you, you didn't keep him waiting.

"Hey…kid…" Axel said, shaking a smooth shoulder gently. Roxas moaned, and then rolled onto his other side. "…you need to get up now, Roxas. Xemnas wants to see you."

That got Roxas up – he didn't want to get on bad terms with his leader. His hair was mussed from the pillow, and Axel ruffled the blonde spikes fondly.

"Your hair's a mess, kid." Roxas frowned, smoothing the untamable hair down with his palms. It did virtually no good, and Axel knew it didn't matter much anyway. What Xemnas had planned for him wouldn't leave his hair in good condition. "Good enough. Let's go."

Axel didn't want to speak to Roxas on the long way down the hall, and the blue eyed nobody was thankfully silent. The redhead didn't want to tell him what was in store, but he felt bad leading the poor lamb straight into the wolf's clutches. They stopped at the large white door marked with an I.

"This…is Xemnas's office?" Roxas questioned. He was shaking, and for better reason than even he knew.

"Nah, this is Xemnas's room. He _has_ an office, that's just not where initiation takes place."

"Why does he do initiation is his room? You'd think he'd take us out somewhere to show him what we can do, right?" He was genuinely confused, the poor thing.

"Right now, he doesn't want to see what you can do, Roxas. He just wants…to _see_ you." He was trying to be cryptic, but it never worked well with him and the boy was even more confused now.

"But I'm right here! He's seen me plenty of times! I don't get why he needs to see me in there…" Axel looked at the blonde with baleful eyes, trying desperately to warn him with those irises alone.

"Roxas…I'm sorry…" he whispered, touching a pink cheek delicately. Roxas blushed, and looked up with wide blue eyes.

"Sorry for what, Axel?"

It was then that the door swung open and Xemnas beckoned for Roxas to enter the room. Pale faced and shaking he followed and Axel leaned against the wall with his head in his hands to wait.

Xemnas asks Roxas to sit; he obliges without further prompting. Amber eyes stare him through, looking up and down his body in a way that makes Roxas turn a vibrant red.

"I see you've made friends with Axel," the Superior says after an all too awkward pause. Roxas nods, smiling slightly for the first time since he's been there. Xemnas strokes his cheek longingly, fingers feeling icy compared to Axel's warm touch. "I can understand why…you're young, and quite attractive. Yes, it's no wonder he's taken a liking to you."

"I don't understand," Roxas admits honestly. His youth and his friends don't directly correlate in his head, but apparently Xemnas has made a connection.

"We like the young here, Roxas…oh yes, we like them so very much." His tone was eerie and low. "Are you willing to swear fealty to me, my soldier, and become a member of this organization?"

Roxas nods again, more hesitantly this time. Xemnas takes the chin in his hand and pulls the boy forward to lock lips with him. Roxas struggles, but is quickly subdued by his Superior's strong hands, lying on his back in terror as Xemnas removes his clothing.

"What are you doing?" He meant to sound demanding, but Roxas sounds meek and childish.

"How cute," Xemnas purrs in his ear. "A first timer…I do love those, you know. Axel shall be quite put out to know I have had you already."

"What…does Axel…have to do with this?" The younger moans out, fighting against the hands that forcefully spread his thin legs.

"It's obvious he wants you – that's why he's being so nice to you. He only has one thing on his mind, my dear boy. He jumped at the chance to have such a wonderful and new toy.

"Not a – unh!" Roxas cries as he is forcefully entered. Tears run from sky blue eyes. "…not a toy…"

"I daresay Roxas that you are the most gorgeous little doll I've played with. You are fine porcelain, but a toy nonetheless. And I shall enjoy breaking you."

He thrusts harder than need be, relishing in Roxas's pleading sobs that echo in the sparsely decorated room. Axel slides to the ground against his wall, pounding the floor for every tiny scream.

As he finishes, Roxas breathes a sigh of relief only to be returned to a gasp as he sees Xemnas readying a hot poker from the fireplace on the side of the room. The merrily crackling flames turn the poker white with heat as Xemnas calls the younger over. On trembling legs he falters over to the man, and is held still by a large hand.

"Don't move my doll. I have to truly make you mine." Said through harsh lips as he lowered the poker down to Roxas's hip. A hiss escapes Roxas's and the iron's mouths as a XIII is branded on the pale skin. Xemnas stands up then, and throws a robe to Roxas.

"Wear it at all functions of the Organization or you shall be duly punished, XIII. And surely by now you would have guessed what punishments consist of." He loves watching the color drain from the boy's face; it makes him look vulnerable and beautiful. He loves how the black leather clings to that small body so perfectly. And, of course, he loves that broken look in his new member's eyes. "XIII, you are dismissed. You may return to your stunted tin soldier."

Roxas runs into the hall to be caught up in Axel's arms. He pulls away, eyes shining bright with hurt.

"You knew…" it's a choked whisper, and Roxas can barely get it out from his trembling lips. "You _knew_, and you still sent me in there!"

He's crying in a crouch on the ground, and Axel leans over to hold him in his steady arms.

"Listen, kid. It was either I take you there myself, no harm done down the hallway, or he came to get you _himself_. Plenty of harm done to you, and I'd be punished as well for not listening. It wasn't really a willing thing, okay Roxas?"

Roxas sniffed, leaning into Axel's strong chest.

"That…what he just did?" That voice was so pathetic. "Is that what you want me for? And am I no use to you now that I'm not new?"

"No, no, no, Roxas!" Axel was quick to assure him. "I told you when you got here, I'm your friend. You'll always be my friend and if things progress from there, well, then I won't be upset about it."

"You mean that, Axel?" God, he loved the way he said his name.

"Of course I do, Roxas. The moment I met you, something just…clicked, you know? And now I don't think I can stand to be away from you! It's funny, really. Until you showed up I never considered sticking with someone. Now here you are and…well…here I am. Right beside you. I won't leave."

"…That's reassuring…" Roxas whispered, lacing a tiny hand into Axel's. Neither boy can help but think that they fit perfectly together, and the blonde blushes cutely. "Can I stay in your room tonight, Axel? …I normally wouldn't ask, but I'm afraid I'll be scared."

"Of course, Roxas," Axel murmured, nuzzling into the soft blonde spikes. Best friends indeed.

Roxas _had_ intended to sleep on the couch, he really had, but the gods chose that night to make the loudest thunderstorm Never Was had seen, and Roxas was frightened. That would be how he wound up at the foot of Axel's large bed when the redhead opened his eyes.

"Roxas?" He said groggily, squinting through the darkness. "Whassa matter?"

"Can't sleep…the noise…and I see him everywhere the lightning illuminates the room." Axel patted the pillow next to him, and Roxas gratefully climbed under the covers.

"Better?"

Roxas nodded, snuggling his face into Axel's chest. With cautious hands he removed Axel's from the bed and placed them about his waist. Axel took the hint and pulled him tighter, earning a soft sigh.

"Much better."

oooooooooooooooo**No, you'll never be alone**ooooooooooooooooooooooo

All reviews are wonderful! Thank you! The next chapter should be up just as soon as I can get time to write it, and should start the beginning of a beautiful Akuroku relationship. I'm guessing the mpreg bit comes in about chapter 4 or 5. Just an estimate.


	3. Those Days You Felt Alive

Chapter 3: Those Days You Felt Alive

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The new day brought an unwanted awakening in the form of Demyx knocking briskly on the door before rudely entering. If the knocking wasn't loud enough, then the way he slammed the door when he laid eyes on Roxas certainly was. The two jolted out of sleep, Roxas instinctively moving closer to Axel at the sudden noise.

"Aw…_cute_, Axel. Real cute," Demyx sneered, peering down his nose at Roxas. "I want him gone by tonight."

"Why, Demyx?" Axel demanded, getting up out of the bed. "He doesn't have a room yet!"

"Well, then, it's high time he went to Naminé and _got_ a room, now isn't it? After all, we do need our…alone time, don't we baby? Can't do any of that with a sniveling brat in your bed. So he has to be gone by tonight."

Roxas looked away from Demyx's hands caressing Axel in places that brought a blush to the boy's face to even think about. He couldn't help but notice, however, that Axel didn't seem at all interested in Demyx's propositions. He also couldn't help but feel just a little bit triumphant as well, though he didn't quite understand why.

"He will leave whenever I see fit, Demyx." Axel said sternly. "And as for that alone time…" Demyx leaned forward expectantly. "I don't want any."

The blonde musician looked as though he had gotten slapped in the face. Roxas noticed his dull features – despite his musical prowess, he was quite plain. That musical prowess was put into action, however, as Demyx began crooning in Axel's ear the most beautiful music Roxas had ever heard. That voice was perfect lilting out of those soft lips, and he saw Axel lean towards the younger with the force of his voice alone. He was a beautiful siren when he chose to play the role, and Roxas was decidedly jealous of that talent. Decisive measures had to be taken, so Roxas got out of the bed and grabbed Axel's hand. It was overzealous, perhaps, but it got Axel out of the trancelike state and looking back at him. Roxas smiled sweetly at Demyx, squeezing onto Axel's hand tighter.

"Oh, you're right, of course, Demyx." He said softly, politely. "It was rude of me to keep him from you. I'll be sure to be out as soon as Axel gets sick of me."

Demyx made the most disgusted face he could manage and laughed with a cruel sneer. "That should be a good couple of months. If you haven't noticed, Axel likes his boys young and blonde. Don't get too attached, though. He's terribly transient."

With that, he slammed the door and left Axel alone with Roxas. Axel flopped back down on the bed, groaning loudly in frustration.

"Listen, kid…I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Demy…he's a little _temperamental_, if you get me. Easily offended and all that. The jealousy used to be cute, but now…not so much."

"Why does Demyx hate me so much, though?" Roxas inquired, and the sad part was that he was truly curious.

"He thinks because I had you in my bed that we…and…you know, you and me…?" He trailed off, motioning with his hand and hoping that Roxas took the hint.

"He thinks we're dating?" Those blue eyes were so innocent; and those lips! Axel looked away before he did something he'd regret after the boy slapped him.

"Kid, what Demyx thinks we've done isn't only something lovers do."

Roxas's eyes opened wide, his mouth forming a perfect little "o" of understanding.

"Oh my…but we didn't do _that_! You…you wouldn't do _that_ with me!"

Roxas sounded so appalled, and Axel just couldn't bring himself to tell the boy the truth. In truth, that very deed was one of the redhead's fondest dreams. Obviously the blonde saw it as something terrible, and who could blame him? He had been taken up in arms that only hurt him, and surely that is what he saw sex as being. It was only done if it had to be, and it would be the ultimate betrayal for Axel to press that upon him.

"You wouldn't do that, would you? You're my friend…" Apparently Axel had taken a little too long to answer, but he quickly replied with a 'no, never'. And it was looking more and more like the truth as he realized that he could never go against the innocent's wishes. Slowly but surely it was becoming apparent that he would most likely never touch that ashen skin in passion.

"And you'll always be my friend, Axel." And then, a small glimmer of hope emerged from Roxas's mouth, so quiet that Axel almost didn't hear. "…unless we decide that we want it to be something more."

"And I would never regret that for a minute, Roxas." Axel whispered against the shell of his ear, the words marinated in gentle hope.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It had been weeks now, and never again had Demyx busted into the room. Never again had he confronted Axel, but he was always quick to shoot a glare in Roxas's direction whenever the little blonde passed by. It was most unfortunate, however, that sometimes after glaring he would find a part of his robe on fire. It was most disconcerting, indeed, and a little odd.

The day was empty of missions, and the Organization lazed about in the castle, the occasional member slipping off to do god knows what. Marluxia was in the garden, pruning his precious roses. The garden was a maze of foliage, and in that maze was where Axel found Roxas. He was sitting on the lush green grass and watching Marluxia as he busied himself with the many rosebushes. Roxas was absolutely fascinated by how lovingly the flowers draped themselves around the man, and laughed in delight when Marluxia sent a rose over to slither up his arm. Axel picked up a sprig of daffodils and approached.

"For you, Roxas," Axel murmured, handing the blonde the flowers. Childishly cute as always, Roxas brought them to his nose to smell them.

"They're beautiful!" He exclaimed, leaping up to wrap thin arms around Axel's waist. Marluxia dutifully turned his head away – the sheer intimacy racing around their friendship, threatening to break through into something more, was enough to send a shiver of jealousy up his spine. But Axel looked at Roxas like he was the only thing in the world. And Roxas was absolutely head over heels for him, everyone could tell.

"They have nothing on you," Axel replied, ever sweet in his remarks to Roxas. "I want to take you somewhere tonight. It's…special to me."

"Of course, Axel," his blue eyes sparked with excitement, and he hugged the elder closer to him.

"Okay, then. Be ready by eight."

He really didn't need to give him a time – the boy pretty much stayed in his rooms so when he saw Axel getting ready, then he would as well. But strangely enough, he kept away for the couple of hours before eight.

Promptly on time, he showed up at Axel's door. He looked perfect in a tight T-shirt, and the cut was low to show off his collar bone. The pants were faded in all the right places, tight but not too much so.

"Marluxia dressed me," he said grudgingly, pulling on the shirt. "I told him you were taking me somewhere, and he insisted." A blush was decorating his face. Apparently dressing wasn't the only thing Marluxia had been doing. He had probably given him some kind of pep talk that Roxas was horribly embarrassed by. Axel smirked.

"You look wonderful."

This just sent Roxas into another fit of blushing, and he fussed over keeping an already smooth shirt lying perfectly against his stomach. The clothes looked good on him, Axel noticed, but they would also be exceedingly easy to take off – most definitely Marluxia's handiwork. They were perfect, he was perfect, and frankly the elder couldn't stop staring. So he grabbed Roxas's hand and led him into a portal.

"Where are we going, Axel?" Roxas asked, still holding Axel's hand. Axel held back as though the boy were his long lost heart. Who knew, maybe he was. Either way he just couldn't bring himself to let go of that tiny hand. Emerald eyes looked eagerly straight into Roxas's azure blue.

"Someplace special, I told you, Roxas. I…I want to watch the sunset with you." He sounded every bit like a lovesick school boy, terrified of rejection but so eager to spend his love.

They stepped out of the portal into lush grass, and Axel laid out a blanket. He folded his legs and gracefully slid into place, motioning for Roxas to join him. The boy complied, stretching softly as he sat. When he stretched a small expanse of that smooth stomach was exposed, giving the hint of gentle hipbones jutting slightly from the creamy skin. He looked out upon the town below, a prominently golden city that looked homey. Axel moved closer, resting an arm behind Roxas so as to be close but not intimate. It was unfortunate, but a necessary step in his courting. He had a feeling that Roxas was falling every bit as deep into love as he was, and surely soon they would have to hold on to each other for fear of drowning in it. He looked out at the city, too, having to work to keep his eyes on the lights.

"This is where we found you, you know, Roxas. Just a little thing, scared and stranded in the basement of a mansion. Do you remember?"

"…I remember the outside of a mansion, but the doors were firmly locked. My old name was taken away then, and I was given this new one. But that's all I can remember about it. I would have never suspected it was this place."

"That was the best day of my life, Roxas. The day I met you," Axel whispered, leaning into the blonde hair. Roxas turned around, and it was more graceful than Axel thought he could manage, but maybe it was just the feelings setting in heavier by the second around them.

"Really? Why?" And he really didn't know. All of Axel's fawning over him, all of Axel's sweetness to him and only him, and he really had no idea. Axel leaned in even closer, so that they were eye to eye under the setting sun.

"Because that day I realized I can spend my whole life with someone; that I can devote all my time to that one person and I'll still be happy. Roxas…I love you."

And oh, the way the purple sky lit up those blue eyes as Axel leaned in to kiss him! It was sweet and soft, and Roxas was happy to feel the plush silk of Axel's kind lips against his, and to know that not all kisses drew blood. Axel's hand moved to the back of Roxas's head when he felt the boy respond sweetly to the kiss, tangling long fingers in the downy blonde hair. Their tongues flicked out at almost the same moment, tasting, testing. Axel's other hand was busy running a reassuring hand over Roxas's side, loving the texture of the cloth under his hand but wanting so desperately to feel the delicacy of the skin beneath. He hooked cautious fingers around the hem of the shirt, glancing up, questioning. Roxas kissed him. The shirt was lifted up as carefully as the heavy velvet curtains in a theater, and this was the best show of all. A dance, a waltz, old as time and as loving as anything one could ever imagine. The boy flushed light and childish pink as Axel took in his torso. Green eyes roamed over his bare chest, hand racing to beat each other in the chase to encompass his skin. He gasped as the tip of one of Axel's fingers grazed a pert nipple, and curiously he lifted Axel's shirt as well. The figure beneath was sharper than his, full of angles and terribly thin. Trembling fingers found first his hipbones, then his muscular chest. Roxas kissed the skin there, kissed all the way down to below his navel where a trace of deep red hair snuck up his stomach. He was scared, but he wanted this. Axel laid him down softly on the smooth blanket, and he could feel hints of rocks and the cool grass under his back. Axel kissed the flat plane of his stomach where Roxas felt something twist and writhe like snakes that threatened to break loose. He arched his back when Axel's mouth found the zipper of his pants. As large hands reached to undo the button, Axel lifted his head.

"You're sure?" As if the growing hardness in Roxas's pants couldn't answer the question itself.

"I'm sure," Roxas replied in the steadiest voice he could muster. He modestly turned his head away as Axel looked him over, naked under the dying sky. The redhead exhaled, as loving in that release of breath as in everything else he had ever done.

"God, you're beautiful, Roxas." It was praising, said in an almost exalting tone. The longing in that voice was palpable, molding to Roxas's shape as he spread pale legs and went between them, losing his pants somewhere in between.

Roxas scoffed lightly, because he was embarrassed and because he just couldn't see what Axel saw. When he looked in the mirror, he saw a skinny child staring back at him. He could never hope to see the god looking back at him that Axel treated him as. He tilted a scared head back as Axel positioned himself at his entrance. Axel placed Roxas's hands around his neck; the boy locked his legs around thin hips.

"Hold on to me," it was gruff, but sounded perfect against his neck as Axel slowly entered. There was a hiss, and it was painful, Axel knew, so he kissed that neck and sucked until a small mark was left. He waited until Roxas's body loosened before pulling out and slowly moving back in. Small hands dug into his back, and he felt a warm tear run down to his cheek. He wiped it with the pad of his thumb, kissing Roxas's lips tenderly. "Tell me when I can move."

It seemed like an eternity for Axel, but in reality wasn't more than a minute before Roxas nodded his consent. The thrusts came slowly at first, painfully for Roxas, until he hit where he should and Roxas thrust his hips back. It was an involuntary movement, and one for which Roxas turned a bright red. But the effect was repeated for each jab to that spot until Roxas came. God, the way that boy screamed his name! It was enough for Axel, who came soon after. He pulled out, lamenting losing the heat and pressure of Roxas's body. His skin was velvet under his weathered hands, and he moved them lazily along his hips, his stomach, his legs. Roxas was asleep in minutes, huddled close to Axel like the night with the storm and every night since, and Axel held him to him, protective over his new lover. The boy was small and fragile and pale against his tall frame, and Axel would take care of him whatever fate came their way.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You know  
You've got me in your hands  
I'll break before I walk  
Tonight we broke our plans  
To play games with our hearts  
For your blue skies  
For those times you felt alive  
Breathe in and softly release it  
I won't let you go

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I love to hear all your comments! And yay, they finally hooked up in this chapter! Next chapter comes the mpreg, and I'll update just as soon as I can! I know I'm slow...


	4. Hey Jealousy

Hello! Sorry this chapter's kind of short, but I wanted to elaborate more on Marluxia's character (which you will discover is COMPLETELY different from game Marluxia. Sorry!). So...this chapter mostly focuses around him.

Chapter 4: Hey Jealousy

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

How long had it been since that night? About a month since Axel returned hand in hand with Roxas after a "date" that turned out to last all night, secretive smiles anything but. The sex didn't bother him – god knew he got plenty. No, it wasn't the sex that made him burn with jealousy each time he looked at the couple. It was the constant cooing and kissing and hushed murmurs that were just too cute for their lifestyle. While Roxas got a warm bed with a caring lover, Marluxia returned to his lover's room each night to receive new blue-black stains over yellowing bruises. Saïx was anything but gentile, and everybody knew how he treated his boy. Rough hands and forced positions in the coldest of beds did little to warm the heart, and when faced with Roxas and Axel that heart turned a bitter green.

About a month since that night and Marluxia felt so sympathetic to Roxas when he complained of nausea and dizziness. After a couple of weeks, however, sympathy faded to carefully guarded pain as the symptoms became more suspect. 'Oh really, Roxas?' He would reply caringly. 'Only in the morning you say? How odd!' …Yes, how very odd indeed.

He leaned against a wall in his garden, a hand poised forlornly on his stomach. At sixteen he had been given a life, and its loss gave him in return a void. At eighteen he longed for another; could still remember the firm swell of his abdomen, barely showing at four months. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever grown, and the only thing that had never made it to fruition. Saïx's hands were rough, but they were more observant than Marluxia had given him credit for. A small trip to Vexen, tearful on the assassin's behalf, was all it took. The void was there, and Saïx was careful not to allow another incident. Emptiness was a beautiful quality in a whore, the inability to stand up for oneself. The inability to care.

He didn't notice the scientist come in; he was swift and silent as he came to sit by the other. Marluxia lowered his head onto his knees, a hand still grasping at his stomach. Zexion looked over sadly; eyes wise to Marluxia from two years of helping him recover from the worst situations.

"Do you know about Roxas?" Marluxia whispered, mouth muddying the words from grief.

"I know many things about Roxas, Marluxia. Which of these things would you like to inform me of?" He was arrogant no matter how hard he tried not to be. But he placed a hand on Marluxia's shoulder as the flower mage turned to face him.

"…did you know he was pregnant?" Whispered even quieter, a tear spilling over sapphire eyes. Lips trembled as Zexion took in the information.

"No…no, I didn't know." Zexion was just as quiet as Marluxia when he murmured "…I'm sorry."

"He is! And he's so little – can't even manage himself! Just a child, really, just a baby! And you know Axel will let him keep it, too. Sorry…it's not that I don't want Roxas to have this child. It's just…just –"

"You're jealous," Zexion finished sagely, understanding everything Marluxia meant. He had attended to Marluxia after he had lost the baby, and even though Marluxia hadn't mentioned anything, the fact that he absolutely refused to remove his hand from his stomach made him curious. So he went to Vexen, and long time friend and perhaps a little more. Being the academic's personal favorite, Zexion was privy to all goings on in the labs. Including but not limited to files on each of the other members. Rifling through Marluxia's papers, he found the source of the depression. A minor surgery the night before. Nothing physically taxing; a simple abortion. It turned out that Vexen had equipped some of the members with a little something extra when he checked them out upon entering the Organization. Gene splicing was easy enough to do with all the equipment Vexen had at hand, and it was amazingly simple to remove the Y chromosome from the boys that way there was no chance of a genetic mutation in the fetus. It was a brilliant way to further the Organization, but Vexen hadn't considered unwilling parents. Or, as it were, an unwilling parent.

Marluxia nodded, beginning to sob. Zexion put an arm around his shoulder, held him close.

"It's not fair, though! He gets pregnant on accident when I've been dying for a baby the last two years! And Axel will play the proud father perfectly while I get beaten for even suggesting the idea."

Zexion looked at Marluxia sincerely, noses practically touching under the shade of the garden. "I would have let you have the baby, Lia," he said, calling Marluxia by his somebody's nickname. "I would have."

"I know, Ienzo," Marluxia responded, returning the favor. He cried harder, shaking from the effort. "Unfortunately it's not you I'm with, sweetie."

"But it could be, darling. Just do one thing for me." That voice was lathered with persuasion, tongue enticingly close to the other's mouth.

"And what would that be, angel?" Marluxia said, leaning in closer. Their lips almost collided, and then Zexion pulled back.

"I want you for my own, my wonderful Lia. I'll never share you. You'd have to be mine and mine alone." Marluxia was notorious for being free with his affections; infamous for the sex. "Show me you can do it and I'll be yours. For one month you must never lay eyes nor any part of your body on anyone. Prove to me that you can be loyal and I will make you mine."

Marluxia shook with the notion, kissing Zexion's hand since the proffered lips had been removed. "I will, love! I can promise you that!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"We're going to Vexen. Now." It was the first thing Axel said that morning as he walked in on Roxas yet again coming to worship the porcelain god. This devotion was becoming unnerving, and the routine morning run had Axel worried.

Roxas nodded blearily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He was exhausted from sickness and inability to sleep. The boy allowed Axel to pick him up in his strong arms, resting his weary head against his broad chest. Axel portaled to Vexen's labs, not wanting to entice Roxas's nausea by walking the whole way. The scientist answered quickly, eyebrows creasing in worry as he looked over the blonde.

"He's sick, Vexen," Axel explained, pointing out the obvious. "He's been like this for about the past two months now. It's really freaking me out, so if you could figure out what's going on, that'd be great."

Vexen relieved Axel of Roxas, laying him on an icy examination table. "So…for the past two months, Roxas? Hm…that is tragic, indeed. Any particular time when the nausea or vomiting is more violent?"

"Every morning I'm really sick, but by the afternoon I feel much better! Just a little tired," Roxas said, smiling worriedly. His pretty golden hair was more unkempt than normal, his body clearly worn out. Vexen surprised him by hastily lifting up his shirt. Long, thin fingers prodded at the skin of his abdomen, and he let out a slight "ha!" when he found what he was looking for.

"Axel," Vexen said softly, gently. "I want you to come and put your hand here." Axel placed a large hand over Roxas's slender stomach, green eyes questioning the elder. "Now, press your fingers in just here…" Vexen guided Axel's hand to the correct spot. He pushed, but not too hard, and Roxas looked confused. "…do you feel it, Axel?"

Axel moved his hand to the upper part of Roxas's stomach, pressing his fingers in, then moved them back down to Roxas's lower abdomen. He gasped, and continued running his hand over the one spot on his stomach that was somehow harder than normal. Roxas looked at Axel, eyes wide.

"What is it, Axel? What's wrong?" He was scared, small hands clinging to the edges of the table. Axel looked at him, mouth slightly agape, thoroughly shocked. One hand still stayed on Roxas's stomach.

"Feel, Roxas…"Axel barely choked out, moving his hand a little as Roxas's settled on the skin as well. "Just feel,"

"I don't feel anything, Axel," Roxas replied gently.

"You're…you're pregnant, Roxy." Axel said softly, looking at his stomach in wonder. It wasn't noticeable, but that patch of skin was too firm for it to be anything but. "What did you _do_ to him, Vexen?!" He roared, rounding on the scientist. Vexen replied coolly, lowering Roxas's shirt for him. Both boys seemed to be petrified.

"Xemnas wanted to further the Organization. What better way than to enable our own members to have children? And especially Roxas, our strongest member. You are very lucky, Axel."

Axel looked down at Roxas, crying softly on the table, and he wrapped his arms around him. One hand ran down his back, the other planted itself on his abdomen.

"You're gonna be okay, Roxy…" he said into the boy's ear. Roxas choked quietly in reply. "We're gonna be okay."

"Are you happy, Axel?" That voice was laced with worry, his pretty lips trembling as Axel raced to meet them.

"I couldn't be more ecstatic, my Roxas."

Roxas ran to tell Marluxia, who congratulated him with the first sincere smile he'd held for the boy in weeks, holding his little hands and blooming tiny roses across his stomach. He looked for signs of change in the keyblader, and found a boy more vulnerable than ever before, more beautiful, and so soft. It didn't show yet; he'd give it at least another month, and he couldn't even picture short, lithe Roxas pregnant.

"This is a miracle, baby," Marluxia cooed in his ear. "Never take it for granted."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You can trust me not to think  
And not to sleep around  
And if you don't expect too much from me  
You might not be let down

'Cause all I really want is to be with you  
Feeling like I matter too  
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago  
I might be here with you

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I love you all!


	5. Blue Burns Orange

Chapter 5: Blue Burns Orange

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To Zexion, chemistry was a beautiful thing, and it was exceptionally beautiful when applied to his relationship with Marluxia. Things had blossomed, so to speak, between the two; so much, in fact, that one glance set the air between them ablaze with longing. It killed him to see the cuts and bruises on Marluxia's pretty face, but he knew that they were a necessary step in getting rid of Saïx. The dog never denied its master without punishment, and Marluxia would bare the scars of his rebellion proudly. A couple days short of a month and the scientist couldn't wait to hold his beloved in his arms. Three more days, longer for both than years, and he could ease Marluxia's pain. He had so much to regret.

The gray haired nobody passed by the pink headed one, and the smile they shared was reserved but so very passionate. Love illuminated their eyes with a knowing certainty as they walked their separate ways. Both snuck a glance over their shoulder, wanting to know if the other was looking at them, too.

By the end of this month his reputation would be shattered, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It was just so abnormal, wasn't it? The poised and dignified scientist fawning over the scatter brained whore, the proper gentleman sharing his bed with the harlot. This treachery proved to be almost as beautiful in itself as the source. Marluxia breathed sensuality; the eroticism of it all coated his every move.

The assassin spent more time with Roxas these days, allowing the boy access to his gardens while he tended the plants. The blonde loved Marluxia's magnificent talents with foliage, and the older was always glad to show them off. Axel began to join them later in the evenings, always sneaking a small bunch of daffodils for Roxas, who always responded spectacularly. He didn't like leaving Roxas for longer than a couple of hours, and his newly discovered condition made Axel nervous. Through word of Vexen the news spread quickly until the entire Organization began to be unable to look Roxas in the eye. It distressed the boy that they were utterly unable to train their eyes away from his stomach, and he worried about when his pregnancy was actually noticeable. Surely nobody would ever look at his face again!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was later in the day when it was called to attention. Axel sat on his couch, lazily watching Roxas as he came over to lie down beside him. He stretched, arching a flexible back. For just a couple of seconds, his shirt rose up to reveal part of his stomach. Just a couple of seconds was all it took for Axel to notice the slight change, and he immediately sat Roxas down. The blonde looked warily at the redhead, who beckoned him closer.

"Look at that…" Axel chuckled, rubbing a hand over the slightly raised skin. Roxas blushed a cute pink, and looked away, embarrassed. "When did that happen?"

"I really don't know…I didn't even notice…" Roxas said in wonder. That smile was so soft on his childish features, modestly proud. Axel grinned, kissing Roxas on the cheek.

"How long has it been now, three months? About time it started showing." The fire mage laughed, kissing him again, this time on his lips.

"Well, it's all downhill from here, I suppose." Roxas said quietly, laughing along with Axel. "In a couple of months I doubt you'll be able to distinguish me from a watermelon."

"Nah, I'll be able to." Axel said confidently. "You're much sweeter than any watermelon I could ever find."

He dug his face into Roxas's neck, nipping and kissing lightly. Roxas sighed contentedly, lacing his hand in Axel's. The seams meshed completely, and Axel's hand engulfed Roxas's in a comforting embrace.

"You're the best Axel," Roxas cooed.

"I try, baby," Axel retorted smugly. "I try."

Roxas kissed the crook of Axel's neck, hands wandering downward. Fingers lifted the veil of his shirt, much to Axel's surprise. He allowed the shirt to come off in those slender hands, and he met Roxas's lips in a heated kiss. Roxas's shirt was gone soon as well, discarded with pants in a pile on the floor. For the moment, they looked much better gracing the carpet with their censoring beauty. Axel laid Roxas down on the couch, being careful to be gentler than normal with him. If he had already treated the boy as though he were made of glass, then now he was invaluable crystal, quick to break. Roxas took note of this, and not too fondly in his aroused state. He wanted a fast pace to heat the air, a desperation to fill the holes. But Axel would have none of that with a baby in his tummy, precious and fragile and so very tiny. Before he might not have paid as much attention, but now that Roxas was beginning to show the redhead was made aware of his every move. He kept a steady hand on Roxas's belly, his hand cupping along the delicate curve, while his other hand stayed busy pleasuring his lover. The lovemaking was gentle, terribly so, and for once Axel didn't mind. He was a fan of rough, quick movements, but he couldn't bring himself to even desire such fornication with the pregnant blonde beneath him. He just looked so soft.

"I love you, Axel," Roxas said lowly. His hands twined in the fierce red of his hair, standing out stark white against the bloody color.

"I love you, too, Roxas," Axel purred lightly. "More than you'll ever know."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The note was small, but noticeable against his roses. Marluxia avoided thorns as he plucked it out of the bushes, turning the paper over in his hand. Satin ribbon, vibrant red, tied the folded paper in half, and it shone in the light as the assassin pulled it out of the perfect bow. A simple letter, written in tiny but perfectly scripted hand.

"My love, you have done splendidly in your task – you have my congratulations, darling. As promised, I would ask that you join me in my room tonight, when I shall be only too happy to claim you as my own."

Zexion. Marluxia shone with delight, clipping the roses with heightened gusto. The month of waiting was worth it, the sure scars were worth it, every bruise and every cutting remark was finally worth it! And Zexion called him his love, his darling. He could picture the words flowing from perfect lips, so low they were almost lost on the way to his ear. Love, darling, his own. Such a brilliant thing to be owned when there was no price to be paid to him but love!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"My God, leave it to Axel to knock up a _boy_," Demyx snorted bitterly, crossing his arms angrily. Xigbar leaned on the wall nonchalantly, watching the musician pace in the Hall of Empty Melodies. It was their training room, Demyx's concert hall where he could sing to audiences of water clones, and they always clapped. There was no music today, no sweet love songs trilled from a porcelain mouth. Xigbar always loved to listen, had fallen quite in love with the music, perhaps the artist too. He played the Phantom to Demyx's Christine, dropping subtle hints and inspiring lyrics where he was lacking words. Demyx didn't have the brain to write, eloquence failed him when he needed the reassurance of a beautiful phrase, so when he would compose a piece he would have Xigbar rake through it and change words where they needed sprucing up. They were partners in all but one sense, and Xigbar would trade at least two of the other senses for that one.

"Yeah," Xigbar agreed, not being able to say more. He thought Axel was a fool, but he was jealous of Roxas's devotion.

"I mean, who does that boy think he is? He waltzes in this castle like he owns the damn place, takes my boyfriend, and doesn't even utter a word in apology!" He was fuming, breath coming heavily and heaving his thin chest.

"Perhaps he didn't know he was your boyfriend…?" Xigbar bravely ventured only to be immediately shot down.

"No. Hell no. He knew, that little bitch _knew_! I touched Axel right in front of him, groped him and made sure that boy could see! And then, do you know what he does?" Xigbar leaned forward, pacifying the need for attention. "Then he goes over and takes Axel's hand! And he just looks at me with this smug little smirk on his face, eyes so bright I just wanted to gouge them out! And he's just the most insolent – the most disrespectful…oh, Xigbar," Demyx faded out, leaning into Xigbar's only too eager arms. Couldn't the boy tell what he did to him? Couldn't he hear how Xigbar's breath caught in his throat every time he came to him like this? Surely the blood pulsing faster was loud enough for the world to hear his internal proclamation of love. Xigbar patted his shoulder reassuringly, keeping his hand there for longer than need be. Demyx didn't mind.

"There, there, Dem…Axel's an idiot. Any man would be lucky to have you." He said softly, feeling Demyx's head perk up.

"Oh really, Xigbar…" he was sexy when he was being coy, and his musician's voice was smooth as silk. Those eyes were light as precious oceans, his smile glowing in their depths.

"It's true," He responded boldly. "I know men who would kill to have you on their arm."

"Oh? Like who?" No music could have ever been sweeter than this conversation, and Xigbar reeled from the surrealism of it. It was the moment of truth, just like suspenseful ending of a game show. What's behind door number nine…?

"Like me," …is that your final answer, sir?

And the kiss he got in response was better than any car or expensive cruise.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Marluxia was the picture of perfection with his pink hair framing his almond face as he walked into Zexion's room. He was taken into his pale arms immediately and coated with tender kisses.

"I've wanted this for so long…" Marluxia moaned against Zexion's neck. His breath was warm cascading down the column of his throat, and the heat drove Zexion wild. "I won't fuck it up this time, baby, I promise you. I died for another chance at this, and I can't fuck it up like I fuck everything else up! I won't…"

"I know you won't, angel," Zexion breathed, hands everywhere at once. "I've waited, too."

"It's my fault…you died, and it was my fault…" The occasion is not meant to be sorrowful, but memories always have weighed Marluxia down. His pretty lips waver as Zexion meets them.

"No, darling, never your fault…it was careless error and not my precious Liamaru that caused that." He is sincere, putting sure fingers under Marluxia's chin to lift his head up lovingly. They both smile, Marluxia's sensual where Zexion's is kind.

Their lovemaking is filled with shadows, beautiful and tragic at the same time. Memories emerge to the surface that had been thought to have had a proper burial, groundwater that washes up the corpses buried in graves too shallow. Marluxia cries when it is finished; is happy, so happy, he tells Zexion. And it's true, they both know it, and the tears won't stop flowing. Zexion holds him in strong arms until he goes to sleep. It was love, true and pure and perfect in this bed with the two curled into one another.

Two became three very quickly.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I know it's hard to make things work

When you're all alone.

And I've been waiting for so long

To hold you in my arms

Thanks to everyone who reviews, favorites, and watches! You mean so much! I know there's a lot of skipping around in this chapter, and I promise that the whole Liamaru and Ienzo thing will be further delved into first thing next chapter!


	6. Foreverandever Etc

Chapter 6: Foreverandever Etc...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Marluxia hated these dreams, more memory than imagination. They were the worst kind of nightmare, and coincidentally the most frequent. Marluxia remembered more than he cared to about his previous life, and the phantom of regret lingered long over his troubled head. Liamaru had been a dancer in a night club; a prostitute renowned for his experience and adapt nature. He could transform into any man's dream lover, he was a pro at this game. He was fourteen when he met Ienzo.

_The club was dingy and dark as per usual, the businessmen and drunks joined forces in the top rows while the lurkers lay in the back. He swung low on the pole, aware of all eyes on him, trying to relish it as best he could. Skinny legs spread wide for a look at what they all wanted, then snapped shut in denial. These things did come with a price, gentlemen. And many would be willing to pay to have Lia in their bed. The way he moved put the other dancers to shame; his grin was lewd as was his every gesture. Then Ienzo walked in. _

_Time slowed for a moment, a beautiful, blissful moment where everything was peaceful. Then it sped up again, twisting and turning on the pole like sand through the hourglass of his life. Their eyes locked, and he noticed the scientist gasp in awe. He was cute, he was so cute, and Liamaru had him right in the palm of his hand. _

_After his dance was finished he lowered himself sensually to the floor, flashing a sultry smile to all the men who cat-called and whistled. Silly men, didn't they notice how he didn't pay them a bit of attention? Bigger fish to fry tonight, kind sirs, beautiful boys to seduce. He boldly stepped up to Ienzo, planting himself in his lap._

_"Enjoy the show, baby?" He purred, breath warm against Ienzo's ear. He was hard, damn right he had enjoyed the show. But all he could manage was a weak nod. "What's your name, cutie?"_

_"I-Ienzo," he stuttered, adorable in his flustered state. Liamaru noticed his eyes were a brilliant blue, almost teal, and exotic when paired with blue-grey hair. It didn't make him look prematurely old by any stretch of the word. It made him look gorgeous, and Liamaru tucked a strand of it lovingly behind his ear._

_"Ienzo…" God Ienzo loved the way his name rolled of that tongue. It sounded by no means as elegant as when Even would murmur it, but it had its own alluring quality all the same. _

_"And you're Liamaru." He knew from the moment Lia sat on him that he would be compelled to be with him. _

_He took him home that night, much to Even's dismay, and the elder had Ienzo offend Lia by paying him for a night which meant much more than currency for the both of them. _

_The argument that ensued between the lovers had been brutal, leaving Lia depressed and Ienzo distracted. And a distraction like that had been just a little too much under precarious experimentation. Ansem's labs had gone up in flames, leaving all apprentices down for the count. Lia had heard about it secondhand from a friend who had read the newspaper. …Hearts ripped clean out of their chests._

_No explosion did that. _

_Years went by after that, dreary and tearful. Every waking moment was a chore for Lia, whose hips grew weary quickly from dancing and taking the emotional let-out of his customers on his fragile body. The drugs hadn't done enough, but at sixteen he had decided that they would do the job. He didn't know where Ienzo had gone, but if heaven would admit his tarnished soul then he would gladly give up this life for a chance at reuniting with him. _

_He had gone out to do it, he had intended to finish it all right then, but he hadn't gotten the honor. His boss had showed up, drunk with a few of his friends. Games were played, knives were wielded, Liamaru was raped. They left him in the salty slush of the road cold and naked and with cuts all over. For his fated love he was given a flower, carved into the tender flesh of his stomach, a petal for every "loves me, loves me not." Naturally it ended on "not". A heart to replace his shattered one torn into his frail chest came next. Last they left his face in disarray, the creases of his mouth sliced open to his cheeks._

_The heartless had come then, and he welcomed it as a hallucination of Ienzo. …Heart ripped clean out of his chest. _

Marluxia woke in a fit of sweating, and moved closer to Zexion for comfort. The other woke up for a brief moment; long enough to place a tender kiss on his worried brow and drape a lazy arm over his waist. Then he was back asleep, and the monsters haunted Marluxia until the morning.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The nausea came suddenly and violently about a month after the initial lovemaking – there were many more occasions after the fact – and Zexion figured it out before Marluxia did. Surely Marluxia had at least suspected it, but he had killed the thought before he could get his hopes up. There were no guarantees with this situation, and nothing besides trust said Zexion wasn't going to just up and leave. The toilet bowl and Marluxia were becoming a little too close for comfort, and Zexion kneeled next to him, rubbing his back.

"Well, it could be worse," Zexion mused thoughtfully. "At least you're not sick."

Marluxia looked up hastily, eyes wide in surprise. They clouded over quickly, stormy under impending joy.

"You don't know for sure, Zexion," he whispered sadly. "Don't say things like that until you know for _sure_…"

"Ah, but you see, my dear, sweet Marluxia…" Zexion trailed off, wrapping arms around Marluxia's sick-shaken body. "I sense it. I can feel another soul inside you, and mind you, I am never wrong."

Their hands met at the plane of Marluxia stomach, Zexion's covering Marluxia's.

"So pompous…" Marluxia chuckled, the sound coming out devastatingly happy. One would almost mistake it for insurmountable sorrow – the two tread a fine line. "…So, what do we do?"

Zexion's response was incredulous, and he smiled broadly out from behind his veil of blue-grey hair. Marluxia dearly hoped their child would have his hair…

"…We raise it? I told you, darling Lia, that I would let you have a child." He kissed him softly on rose pink lips.

"You sound like a parent telling their child they can have a puppy if they 'promise to take care of it'…" Marluxia mocked right back, chiding him playfully.

"Yes, but there's a crucial difference between the two situations. I am not thrilled at the idea of a puppy. I _am_, however, thrilled at the idea of our child growing in that belly of yours." Zexion retorted, pecking the dimples in Marluxia's cheeks as he smiled gently.

"You won't be so thrilled when the sex goes on a downhill spiral." He joked, secretly hoping Zexion wasn't in it for the sex. A prostitute tends to be wanted for that aspect.

"My angel, if that was the key item in our relationship then I would have left you the moment I figured out you were pregnant. As it were, I'm afraid I've fallen rather deeply in love with you."

"And I you,"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Axel came back late from his mission that night – Xemnas had put him on a pretty strenuous heartless detail. His body ached, but that couldn't compare to the aching longing to return to Roxas. All day was entirely too long to be away from the boy, it was like removing the sun from his life for an entire day. Though, in Axel's opinion, not even the sun could outshine his golden Roxas, innocent and pure even though he was by far a virgin. So, instead of going to Vexen's for a good old potion or two, he went straight back to his own room.

The first thing he heard when he stepped in the door was a low murmuring, loving and oh so quiet in the bedroom. He heard Roxas laugh lightly; apparently enjoying whatever was going on back there. Axel walked as stealthily as his assassin status alluded, and peered around the doorframe to look inside.

The light was warm and yellow-orange in the white room, reflecting dully on the black comforter. There sat Roxas, propped against pillows, practically sitting up and occupying such a tiny space on the bed. A small book sat comfortably in the crook of his crossed legs – a picture book, Axel noted. He was reading quietly, hand rubbing at his stomach, four months pregnant and prominently pressing against the forgiving fabric of the ribbed tank top. He would stop reading after every page, pointing out animals, colors, and shapes to unborn eyes and ears. Axel absolutely melted against the door, taken aback once again by his beauty, and that simple fragility that radiated from his small frame. He was reading to their child, not even born yet and he was reading to him from a small stack of books! It was wonderfully maternal, and it touched Axel in the form of a dull pang in his chest. He joined Roxas on the bed, pulling him close with one arm and taking the book with the other.

"Where did you get these, sweetheart?" Axel said softly, eyes appraising Roxas's smooth face, glowing even in the dim light.

"Zexion picked them up for me," Roxas said. Of course, it made perfect sense. Educate them early, that was probably Zexion's take on it. A damn nerd, but a pleasant one to be around.

"Mind if I finish? Let daddy help tell him his first bedtime story." Roxas nodded, smiling brightly at him. Axel laid his head on Roxas's, looking fondly at his stomach after every page. And he couldn't help it, he knew the baby couldn't see the pictures, but he pointed out everything just as Roxas had done.

After the book was finished, Axel kissed the bump of Roxas's stomach. Once so preciously flat, now it looked like he had swallowed a small cantaloupe. He laughed softly, more mentally than outwardly.

"You're going to be a wonderful father, you know that Axel?" Roxas complimented, snuggling into Axel's chest. He wrapped strong arms around his lover, protecting and comforting.

"Can't beat you out, though," he chuckled. "Best mother material, you are, Roxas."

The family slept soundly on a corner of the large bed, low light still glowing all night long.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm finding everything I'll ever need  
By giving up gaining everything  
Falling for you for eternity  
Right here at your feet  
Where I wanna be  
I am yours

Thank you so much for continuing to stick with this story! I love all reviews and favorites!


	7. Just What I Needed

Chapter 7: Just What I Needed

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Xigbar was coming to realize something a little disconcerting about Demyx. He had a sweet nature, but a cunningly serpentine tongue lay poised to strike behind his teeth. He had less wit when insulting than Axel, who was ruthless at best, but his remarks were cutting all the same and lathered with stinging salt. The blonde only seemed to make biting comments about things he was jealous of – something Xigbar hoped wasn't always true. Lately Demyx had stored all his venom to save on account of Roxas. Things went well enough until the two crossed. Then things went on variations of the following dialogue:

"Wow, Roxas…" Demyx would say in awe. "You're _huge_ for only being four months along!"

Roxas would take it, bowing his golden head slightly in submission. He would look up at Demyx with pleading blue eyes and respond:

"I think it's beautiful. I mean, carrying a life. It's wonderful, isn't it?"

Then Demyx would scoff, leaning closer to Roxas as he slowly walked by.

"You know what else is beautiful, Roxas?" He would say with a hint of laughter crouched in the shade of his words.

"What?" Oblivious to the end, Roxas was. He took the bait so well, which was probably why the taunting continued.

"Whales." Demyx would say simply. "Good thing Xemnas invested in one, don't you think?"

And poor Roxas would be left confused with an aching ego in the middle of the hallway.

Yes, Xigbar sorely hoped that Demyx didn't mock _everything_ he was jealous of. He couldn't help but notice, though, that his musician was always smoothing his shirt over his stomach. He would sigh sadly, as if lamenting the subtle tone of his muscles under the fabric. The songs he would sing were frequent but melancholic, the words stressing themselves over long, solemn notes. It was still beautiful, his voice was always a wonder, but upbeat songs were usually more Demyx's speed. His easy voice slid through pitches as smoothly as running water. How fitting, Xigbar mused.

"Whatcha thinking about, baby?" Demyx cooed, coming up behind Xigbar quietly. That voice was musical even when speaking, and the elder easily succumbed to his charms.

"Nothing, sweetheart," he reassured him. "Just a little spacey today I guess."

Demyx laughed. "Spacey…heh…yeah, that would be you, Xig. My wonderful spaceman."

The pun was terrible, but Xigbar laughed anyway, pulling Demyx to him closely.

"My water boy," he retorted, kissing him full on the lips. They parted easily to a probing tongue, the cavern of his mouth explored heatedly.

"But Xigbar," he pouted playfully, "I don't want to be on the sidelines. You know I much prefer getting in on some action…"

"Then you play the defense to my offense…" he said slyly, rubbing Demyx's sides with rough hands. "…and I'll try my hardest to score."

Demyx pressed against him, hard and mewling softly from the touching. He giggled lightly, placing a kiss on his tender neck.

"I don't think you'll have to try very hard…I'm rather weak to your advances, it seems."

Things were going just as far as Xigbar had dreamed, but he had to pause them momentarily. He had the condom, he had it and god damnit he was going to use it.

"Better safe than sorry, right, baby?" Xigbar laughed, and he sounded embarrassed. Demyx nonchalantly threw it to the ground.

"Those are just no fun, Xig…" he whined, feigning offense to get out of something he didn't want to do. "You want me to be happy, don't you?"

And that was that. No condom was used, but Xigbar didn't really think too much on it. Demyx wasn't even sure he _could_ have kids, so what was there to worry about? Nothing. Nothing at all.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two couples filed into Vexen's labs at once, Marluxia's hand latched firmly to Zexion's and Axel's arm around Roxas's waist, hand resting protectively over his stomach. Vexen admitted them graciously, cringing at Zexion's affections towards Marluxia. He had to hide a full-out shudder upon seeing their faces. Idiotic, they looked idiotic, but so in love and so happy and so…eager. No. No, no, no, it couldn't be, no! Surely Zexion would have the good sense to abort it…surely he wouldn't stay with Marluxia! But he knew better, and he seated Roxas first. He lay down on the cold examination table, shivering slightly. Axel was there at the first shake, hands sending heat to his frigid body as they ventured along his torso. Vexen instructed him to remove his shirt, and Roxas blushed as he did so in front of the four watchers. Axel purred in his ear, but he was never as beautiful as Axel told him he was; it did no good. The green eyes of his lover appraised him just as they always did – he never would get used to it, and he could never catch the butterflies in his stomach that erupted when those eyes were on him.

Vexen took out a machine, and rubbed an icy gel on Roxas's distended abdomen. The look on that little face purely exclaimed "why?" so Vexen explained kindly.

"This machine is so we can get a better look at your baby, Roxas. Would you like to see your child?"

Now _that_ caused Roxas to explode with excitement, and he eagerly shouted his approval. Axel laughed as he agreed that yes, he would like to see his baby.

The machine was turned on, and the gentle beating of a little heart rang through the echoing room as Vexen placed the wand on Roxas's tummy. Axel gasped, eyes misting against his will as he kissed Roxas on his small hand.

"A heart…" he whispered, awestruck and happy that his child would be a somebody. "Our baby has a heart, Roxas…"

Roxas laughed quietly, grateful for this revelation. Then he caught a glimpse of the screen, projecting a profile in perfect sonogram detail.

"Look, Axel!" He exclaimed, directing Axel's attention to the monitor. "See it?"

"Yeah…there's our child, Roxas. Our baby," The father to be was every bit as proud as Marluxia had predicted and then some. "I think it looks more like you."

And indeed that tiny nose was as pert as Roxas's, the lips pouting in the same way his did when he slept.

"Would you like the gender, Roxas?" Vexen prodded. A quick nod came after checking with Axel to make sure it was alright with him. "Alright…there we are! It seems you will be giving birth to a healthy baby boy, Roxas. Congratulations,"

Roxas's eyes brimmed with tears that poured down his face as he stared fixedly at the screen. And, however hard he tried to hide it, Axel wiped his own eyes to stop the watering as he admired the miniature perfection that was his son.

"That's wonderful, Roxy…" Marluxia whispered in his ear. "He's beautiful."

"I know," Roxas said with proud certainty, his modesty breaking for the first time in his stay at Never Was. Axel helped him off the slab, replacing his shirt with gentle reverie, placing the palm of his hand flush against the delicate curve of Roxas's stomach. He leaned in closer, bending over to whisper in Roxas's ear.

"Thank you, Roxas…thank you. A boy…a son…thank you…" he smiled against the shell of his ear and repeatedly announced his gratuity. Roxas wrapped fragile arms around Axel's thin waist, holding him close with his head comfortably resting on Axel's chest.

"Marluxia," Vexen called unwillingly – he postponed it as long as he could. That grin on his face was so wide that he could have quite easily ripped it off. Just like his counterpart, sliced from the creases out to his cheeks. A jester's smile for someone who never took life seriously enough. Vexen did not help him up on the cold table; it was more amusing to watch him try to lift himself up while simultaneously being oh so cautious to keep safe what wasn't even confirmed. He took off his shirt easily, a whore still after all this time, his movements so crude that Vexen almost kept Roxas from looking. Keep the innocent pure, leave the whores to their drunkards. Keep Zexion pure and perfect and pale like he always was when they would kiss late at night. Keep Zexion away from the whore.

"Too late," he muttered under his breath, icy wind carrying it away. He dejectedly handed the gel to Marluxia, who applied it like lubricant, hissing sensually from the cold. Was everything sex to this man?

The wand ran over his petite waist, pausing and faltering when it found what it was looking for. There it was, the child Marluxia had always craved, Zexion's flesh and blood and oh how Vexen was going to rage later. The tears would come when they left; he knew it, freezing down his face as he allowed himself to turn to rock. Rocks do not feel.

"Congratulations to you as well, Marluxia," Vexen spat, switching the machine off heatedly. "You are approximately two months pregnant. Enjoy your mood swings."

Roxas's jaw nearly dropped to the ground as he looked over Marluxia, running to him and touching his stomach gently.

"You're…?" He left off, blue eyes wide.

"Yeah, Roxy," Marluxia laughed softly, ruffling his hair. "Yeah,"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That night _the look_ came into Roxas's eyes for the first time, distressingly vacant and far away. Axel shook him gently first, then roughly out of fear for his little lover's well being. He shuddered back to life in a gasping breath, then looked angrily at Axel.

"What did you do that for?" He snapped, turning his back to Axel.

"Roxy…honey, you weren't responding."

"I…I was remembering something…" he said quietly, and his voice sounded like an echo as it came out of his throat. "A beach where it was always sunny, and I remember a yellow star, and silver hair. I think I was remembering my other life."

Axel started, pressing Roxas to him frantically. He stroked his hair a little too fast, a little too rough.

"No, no, I don't want you thinking about that kind of stuff, Roxy." He said with rushed inflection, needing to get everything out before Roxas interrupted him. "It's better to forget, okay? Trust me. I remember _my_ past life, and I really wish that I didn't. You're not that person anymore, Roxas. You're my lover, you're my lover and we have a son that will be here in about four months. You have a family now, Roxas, and I can guarantee you that you didn't have that before."

"But…but it hurts to have so little to remember! I feel our son move and I try to think of when I was a child, but I can't! I just remember the beach and that star and that silver hair! That's it, and it kills me because I know that I had some good memories!" He started sobbing, hitching in his throat and ricocheting off the hollow of Axel's collar bone. He held Roxas tight, soothing him gently.

"You've…felt our son?" He was grasping at threads now, picking out little pieces of the conversation in the hopes of changing its direction. The hand on Roxas's belly is enough to gravitate his attention to Axel, and he nods slowly.

"I…I don't think you can feel yet. He's not strong enough yet, but he should be soon and then you can feel it, okay?" He quiets down, still trembling in Axel's arms, but he's done now.

"I look forward to it."

He's done now and Axel knows that he can never again let _the look_ creep into Roxas's eyes. It's only too easy for memories to overtake reality, and then his boy wouldn't remember him anymore. God damn the beaches and the stars and especially damn that silver hair.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
I don't mind you coming here

And wasting all my time

Cause when you're standing oh so near

I kind of lose my mind

Thank you so much for your continued devotion to this story! I really appreciate it, all of you!


	8. Quote

Chapter 8: Quote

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

His steady footfalls ring lightly in the empty room, but Vexen hears them perfectly. Years of recognition lead him to the deduction that it is his fair Ienzo in his labs. No. Not Ienzo anymore. He steps closer and Vexen inhales sharply. He's quiet but Vexen is aware of his every move. He's made a life out of observing his little scientist.

"…Why?" Vexen chokes out, moving around to clutch at Zexion's robes. A dim green light is all that illuminates the room, casting ghastly shadows over his boy's face.

"Why what?" He responds indifferently, tossing the veil of blue-grey hair in a fruitless attempt to move it out of his eyes. Those eyes were made from the sharpest steel, impaling Vexen with their agonizing stare.

"Why Marluxia, Zexion? Why this family now?" Vexen gulps down what could have very potentially been a sob, taking Zexion's petite hand and pressing it to his shaking lips.

"I love Marluxia, Vexen. We are happy and I intend to share this scrap of a life with him." He sniffed haughtily, pulling his hand away quickly.

"…but what of me?" There it was, out in the open; the question Vexen had always feared to ask. His precious Ienzo had never left him so utterly…alone. "If you had willed it, we could have had a family. What of me, Ienzo?"

"What _of_ you, Vexen? My darling Even, surely you know that you were just a midnight companion; an illicit kiss on a cold night. My heart was never for you, you just pulled the arteries to constriction in the hopes of keeping me close. You burst a valve once trying to hold me, do you remember, Even? Yes…do you remember Liamaru?"

Oh, and how he did remember Liamaru. The precious whore that Ienzo just couldn't do without. He had to have him, and he did; right in the bed that the two shared frequently. That ruffled burgundy hair mingled with his beloved Ienzo's. The mix had been filthy and crude compared to the perfection that was his blonde hair entwined with that gorgeous blue-grey. Oh yes, he did remember Liamaru. But he shook his head hurriedly.

"Don't _lie_ to me, Vexen!" Zexion nearly shrieked, clutching onto Vexen as hard as he had previously. "Don't lie, you remember him. You remember him well, and that's why you tried so hard to keep me away from Marluxia! You were afraid I'd remember, and you were happy that I didn't. But now I do, my wonderful Even! I remember everything, and I especially remember how much I _hate_ you."

He spat the words as though they were bitter fruit and glared at Vexen from under the shock of grey hair. The blonde recoiled slightly under his demeaning gaze, bowing slightly in silent apology.

"Zexion…_Ienzo_…you know I did it because I love you…" How weak he was! He was pleading to little Zexion, still towering over him when hunched over. Zexion sneered.

"You don't love me Vexen. You're just selfish. If you loved me, then you would have let me stay with Lia! You knew I liked him better! Your jealousy drove all of us inadvertently to our deaths, how do you feel about that? Do you love _that_, Vexen?" He laughed dryly and without humor, pushing Vexen away from him hard.

"…no…" he whispered as Zexion slammed the door behind him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They lay together comfortably on the bed, Roxas propped up on plush pillows with Axel's head lying gently on the bulge of his stomach and his fingers running lazy patterns on the stretched skin. A heart, a flower, a heart again. Roxas ran his fingers through Axel's red hair slowly, lovingly.

"Axel…what was your somebody's name?" Roxas said after a long silence.

"Lea," he said softly. It was pronounced like 'Lee' and Roxas thought it was strange in comparison to Axel.

"Oh," Roxas sighed. "You're lucky. I don't know my somebody's name…what was he like, Lea?"

"I don't really remember. Headstrong, I guess. Stubborn and determined. You see, he had three little brothers, the oldest of which was ten years younger than Lea. He was the experiment child, I guess; a way of knowing if they wanted other kids or not. What were their names? I think it was Ren, the oldest, then Edrin, and then…oh yeah. Eiri was the youngest. He was the youngest and the only one besides Lea with red hair. The others were blonde, bleach blonde like their father had been. Eiri and Lea, they were their mother's children. Unfortunately, mommy didn't think too much about providing for her babies in the untimely event of her death. Naturally, worse came to worse and they were all turned out on the street. Daddy left to the lure of the drink and never came back, never gave any money to help his sons. Lea became their dad; he took care of them whenever they needed it. Eiri…oh, Eiri was always around Lea. He wanted to be just like him, and he followed him everywhere. He followed him and he followed him and he followed him straight into the heartless when they were ambushed late one night. Lea fought so hard, but his hardest wasn't enough. They…they killed Ren first. He was trying to protect Edrin, and they took him next. Lea tried to get Eiri to safety, and how was he to know that in the corner of that little ally way a shadow lurked? So he led the kid right into its clutches. 'Oh here, Eiri, you're safe now, buddy. Don't worry.' Then the shadow came up behind him. Took his pretty little heart right out, and it was so pure, Roxas. Lea died shortly after, and he gave up easily after Eiri went out." Axel nuzzled his head forlornly into the soft skin of Roxas's stomach, running his hand over it like a worry stone.

"That's terrible…" Roxas murmured, shocked.

"Yeah, don't I know it. Do you really want to remember now?"

"I…I don't know, maybe my life was better than all that!" Roxas was ever confident.

"Trust me, Roxy. If you're in a place like this your life wasn't so hot. We all died brutal deaths, and you're so lucky you can't remember it." Axel was whispering now, sad and low against Roxas's tummy. He kissed the curve softly, keeping his lips there for longer than need be. "Hello…" he murmured. "And how is my son today?"

And then, he felt it. It was gentle but apparent – a kick pressed against his lips for an instant, a vague fluttering sensation. Axel lifted his head up sharply.

"Whoah…did you _feel_ that?" He laughed in amazement, looking eagerly at Roxas.

"Yeah…yeah, I did," Axel suspected that Roxas had felt it a lot harder than he had, and he rubbed his stomach tenderly. He felt another series of kicks ripple against the firm skin and kissed Roxas genially on the cheek.

"Oh, my precious Roxas…my god, this is wonderful! Best thing that ever happened to me…and I don't even know what I did to deserve it. What I did to deserve you." Axel kissed him, deeply this time, holding him close with one hand and clutching his head tightly with the other. All action suddenly ceased on Roxas's end, and Axel pulled back.

_The look_ was back in full force, his eyes zoning and not seeing when Axel waved a hand in his face.

"The silver hair…the silver hair!" He whispered frantically, eyes still devastatingly unseeing. "Silver hair…silver hair…Riku."

That little word, two syllables, was the pair of scissors that cut the fine thread between Roxas's memory and Sora's. He came back to consciousness slowly.

"Riku." He said surely, the name lilting out and sounded natural on his tongue, well worn and familiar. "I was in love with a boy named Riku."

God damned silver hair.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Roxas had little recollection of the incident, and was quite cheerful the next day. He woke up early, rousing Axel who was suffering from a not-so-slight issue that he tried desperately to hide from Roxas. He noticed, though – he was more intuitive than Axel frequently gave him credit for.

"I'm going to take a shower…" Roxas cooed suggestively, coquettish sway beguiling Axel to rise from the bed. "…If you would care to join me…"

He was out in moments, rushing to Roxas's side and graciously helping him out of his clothes. They weren't as easily removed as before, but before he had not been five months pregnant, so Axel could cut him some slack.

"These are getting tight…" Axel commented, tossing his shirt to the side. He had to hand it to him, though; the shirt was tiny for him to still be able to fit in it. But the striped material stretched across his stomach like a ripening melon, and soon it wouldn't fit over the bulge at all.

"I know," Roxas whispered so very quietly. He was _embarrassed_, Axel realized. He covered his stomach with his hands, but his small palms did little to mask it. Axel cupped Roxas's chin with his strong fingers, pulling him upward to meet his lips.

"Don't be embarrassed, Roxy…you're beautiful like this, and I don't want Demyx or anyone else to make you think otherwise. You…you just glow, Roxas. My little sunshine in this dark and desolate place," he murmured against his lips.

"But my shirts…" he lamented, moving a hand to the top of his stomach. He was blushing a rosy pink, eyes lit up with ashamed tears.

"You can borrow mine, you know," Axel assured him, fishing one of his smaller shirts out of the wardrobe. Roxas absentmindedly turned the water on so that it could heat up. "Here, this should be just fine!"

Before Roxas could try it on the shower was ready, condensation already gathering and dripping off the ceiling. Axel helped him in, holding him steady with caring arms and making sure he didn't fall. Immediately after they were both in and the door secured behind them, Axel pushed Roxas against the wall passionately.

His mouth raked over sensitive nipples, deliciously wet from the shower's downpour, and shivered with ecstasy to hear Roxas's stifled moans. He took his delicate lips with his own, claiming his mouth as he slipped his tongue inside. Roxas pressed against him, the two as close as Roxas's growing belly would allow, and Axel's hand moved from his back to his ass, squeezing gently. Roxas whined, licking at Axel's ear desperately.

"Take me…" he said it so quietly that Axel almost didn't hear, but he complied immediately, moving Roxas's thin legs so that he was wrapped perfectly around his waist. He sunk inside, hoping the water was lubricant enough, and Roxas yelled out in pain. Axel kissed the tears off his already sodden eyelashes, and was amazed to feel Roxas pushing against his length until it was fully sheathed inside him. "Please…"

"As you wish, my darling," Axel responded, pumping in and out gently; hand on his delicate abdomen protectively.

Roxas screamed, literally screamed, for the first time in their copulation history as he came, and Axel followed suit.

"I love you," Axel said, leaning down so that the steam from the shower ran across Roxas's neck as he breathed the words.

"Oh, Axel," Roxas moaned. "I love you, too, baby."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
And now the old flames will pass away.  
I saw your life once,  
Did you see mine?  
But not all things will pass away.  
You turned your light off,  
So I turned mine, away from your sadness,  
Away from the nothing that you feel for me.

Thank you so much for all your support! I love you guys! And I'm sorry this chapter was so short, too!


	9. In Another Life

Chapter 9: In Another Life

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Saïx shoved him roughly against the wall, teeth bared in silent menace. Marluxia bowed his back, shielding his stomach from attacking range. Saïx moved closer, sniffing his hair in a primitive, animalistic way that chilled Marluxia down to the bone. He scratched the tender skin of Marluxia's neck with his teeth, licking away tiny beads of blood harshly. The assassin lowered his head and took it as he was taught – Saïx's strong hands held his arms to the sides of the hallway. The blue haired man bent down to glance at his stomach, barely protruding at all but visible to the observant man under tight fabric.

"It's true…" he scoffed, disgusted. "Pity that your poor boy broke his toy so early in the proceedings. And he has yet to take it to the doll maker to repair the flaw! Yes, I believe that would be an accurate description of our dear Vexen; always tinkering away in those labs of his creating monsters the world would rather never witness. Such is the same for that child, a monster born of man. Vexen rather likes to keep his dolls flawed, it seems, so it will be wondrous news to him that you are fool enough to attempt this feat. What a splendid mother you will be, dear Marluxia, running off every night to entertain the boys."

"I will be an excellent mother!" Marluxia retorted indignantly, tossing his hair slightly in agitation. "You would have found that out for yourself if only you would have let me keep her!"

Saïx smirked, cold as always under the bright light. "Ah, the creature had a gender at the time of its extermination? Adorable, Marluxia. But you know full well that I would never have allowed you to carry the child to term. You are a beautiful whore, and I would not have that beauty marred by such a burden. I did you a favor, kept you from being alone. I know you hate the feeling."

Marluxia shuddered as Saïx's hand brushed his cheek. The resultant slap stung, but not as much as the words that had come from his thin lips.

"The feeling, the emptiness that you gave me, was far worse than being alone." Marluxia said, hating the man before him more than he had ever hated anyone. "The idea that I was so close to having a daughter to hold tight to, to always be there and love me, is murderous in its extremity. I am grateful to Zexion for gifting me with such delicate hope."

"Yes…" Saïx cooed, sidling closer to Marluxia's stomach. "That hope is so very tender and delicate. So easily destroyed."

The second his hand reached his abdomen, Marluxia's scythe was out and poised against the pale column of Saïx's throat.

"One more move, Saïx," Marluxia hissed, pressing the blade against the white skin. "One more move and I slice your throat, bathing in the blood that washes down your body."

Saïx's claymore was at the ready before the words stopped flowing, a strong hand still on his stomach.

"Do not think I will be subdued that easily, Marluxia," Saix grinned malevolently, beating the scythe away easily. The assassin raced for the weapon, halting Saïx's stride with constricting vines that held him fast. "When did you develop this backbone?" He laughed, slashing through the vines and coming swiftly at the younger. Metal clanged as Marluxia blocked him, but Saïx knocked Marluxia over deftly with a powerful kick.

"Please…Saïx, please…" the assassin pleaded, eyes widened in horror of the man above him.

"Silly whore," Saïx said lowly, placing the tip of the claymore on Marluxia's stomach. "You should have known before you challenged me that you could not win. And you are well aware that I will not take pity on you for your condition. I leave you to say goodbye to your fleeting hope."

He pushed the weapon sharply into his abdomen, watching with sick satisfaction as Marluxia curled into a protective ball, hands guarding his stomach, and then he left.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Roxas jolted awake early in the morning, worried eyes scoping the room frantically. He relaxed when no threat was found, soothing his son who had channeled his panic and was now kicking a rapid tattoo into his stomach.

"Shhh…Shhh…you're okay," Roxas cooed, stroking the skin. "Just a bad dream…just a little nightmare…"

Axel sat up beside him, groaning at the sudden noise but attentive as always to his little lover.

"You okay, baby?" He slurred, voice heavy with sleep as he wrapped an arm tiredly around Roxas.

"I'm okay," Roxas reassured, covering Axel's hand with his. "I had a nightmare, but I'm fine. Little one's still pretty shaken up, though."

Axel moved his hand to Roxas's abdomen, laughing at the quick little kicks he felt through the material of his boy's borrowed shirt.

"Can't believe it," the elder whispered, ruffling Roxas's hair fondly. "Only a couple months ago you were just this little thing, shaking in the corridors as I fawned over your perfection. Now we're together, very much in love, and we're going to have a son in less than three months. It's amazing how severely things can change in so little time. It's been nine months since you got here."

Roxas stopped, staring ahead briefly before shaking his head gently. He felt dizzy, and his palms were entirely too clammy for the moderate clime. The date…it was July 15th…such an unimportant date, but it rung a dull and dusty bell in his faulty memory. Suddenly all the dust fell off the bell and it rang clean and clear across his mind.

"…it's my birthday," he said quietly, in awe of the very phrase. "I'm fifteen today."

"What?" Axel mused, smiling crookedly in the wry way that he did when he was worried.

"July 15th," Roxas muttered. "It's my other's birthday. He would have been fifteen today."

Axel laughed dryly, holding Roxas's tiny hands as he shook inside. "Congratulations," he said, voice light as helium balloons in the hopes of lifting the heavy weight of grief. "Fifteen and six months pregnant and the most gorgeous thing I've ever laid eyes on. Quite a lot to accomplish in such a short time frame, angel."

Roxas passed it off as nothing, as a silly remembrance brought on by his desperate desire to know more about his past life. But he thought too much about his brown haired other, almost more than he thought about Axel and their son. It was becoming a struggle to even stay awake at night long enough to make love with Axel – he longed to drift away to dreams of oceans, of silver hair, of the comforting warm nights spent wrapped up in muscular arms on the beach. It was becoming a disappointment to wake up in a cold bed every morning, to see red hair that now was too colorful for him to adore, to feel his nuisance son forever moving in his stomach. He wanted to cut it out. But he played the mommy role well, and Axel fell for it. Had he looked hard enough, he would have seen a desolate emptiness behind the pools of blue, but he never searched because he was afraid to find.

Roxas wanted to run once that baby was born, to run to the oceans where he could be happy and sun kissed and never come back. He wanted to run, but how could he break it to Axel that he was more transient than the redhead was acclaimed to be? The boy had thought out ideas for notes to leave his lover. "_Forgive and forget. Forgive me, forget me._" But forgetting wouldn't be so easy for Axel. For Roxas? Oh, that was another story entirely. Seeping in through his pores was his somebody, and when he filled up with those memories, his started flowing out in excess. He couldn't even remember how he and Axel had met. He snorted mentally. Some lover he was.

It wasn't that he didn't love Axel. No, it wasn't that at all. He loved him so much, but so much couldn't even compare to the way he loved Riku. Somehow, he had known him all his life; he was the only memory he had. Riku was his every thought, his every wish, his every dream with that long silken hair and those thoughtful sea green eyes. Riku, he had learned, was something special. Axel was something fun.

"…You okay, baby…?" Axel chimed in from a hazy, far away place in his mind, snapping him out of his lovesick trance. He fumed but he smiled through the anger, stretching it too much at the corners. Axel didn't notice. He never searched because he never wanted to find.

"Yeah," Roxas said numbly, ripping his hand from where it had subconsciously strayed to his abdomen. The little maggot was kicking him, kicking him right against his hand, oh how dare it! Couldn't it tell how it revolted the mother, how it sickened him to feel that grotesque life writhing in his belly like a thousand deadly snakes in a pit? He had been happy about it until Riku came along. "Yeah, Axel. I'm fine."

No, he wasn't.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_You were always great at running away  
But you said forever, you promised forever  
I've forgiven you, I've forgiven you  
And now I just miss you, I'll always remember you_

Hey guys! Sorry for the majorly long wait for the update...I suck, I know. I was kinda lacking in the inspiration department. Expect a lot of XigDem in the next chapter, because I've got a lot to cover. Thank you so much for reading my story!


	10. Let It All Out

Chapter 10: Let It All Out

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Demyx was smiling and, as Xigbar had determined, this was a new kind of smile. It wasn't sensual, it wasn't faked, and it wasn't even his normal genial smile. As he approached the elder, his smile was strangely soft, subdued even. The blonde moved into the always welcoming circle of Xigbar's arms, curling up against his strong chest and sighing in an almost girlish way that the freeshooter was unaccustomed to.

"What's eatin' you, babe?" The words slip easily from his thin lips, masking a worry that threatened to break through. Demyx had been acting strangely for the past few weeks, and something had to be up for the boy to be simply cuddling up to him with no suggestive comments.

"Nothing's 'eating' me, Xig…I feel amazing." He says it with that silly gentle smile, like pure joy hidden under a careful mask that kept the corners from turning up too much lest he be given away.

That was it – Demyx never said he felt amazing. Something was definitely up. His little water mage was always horny, always just alright, always a little sleepy. Never, ever was he amazing. Xigbar pulled him away, just a little bit so he could meet his ocean blue eyes.

"Why amazing today, Demy?" He grins though he fears the answer; he knows what Demyx has been striving for out of their relationship, and he doesn't want it. Demyx twists and turns in a nervous but fluid way, swaying like the waves of the ocean he loves. His sea glass eyes light up in a moon bright way that somehow matches that sweet little smile, and he looks down as though speechless for the first time in his life.

"Xigbar…" he breathes, and he never uses his full name. 'Xigbar' was something important, something he longs to say but is anxious about revealing. 'Xigbar' was only for when he was being completely serious; 'Xigbar' was something never said.

"Demyx…" the elder returns the favor, using his boy's full name and marveling over new colors he never noticed before in his eyes. Demyx takes his weathered hand, deciding to let gestures speak what his lips can't accurately form. That hand is trailed across the boy's frail chest, down down and down some more before coming to rest low on his belly. The skin is flat and reveals nothing, but the message is sent and Xigbar pulls away.

Demyx looks betrayed, but comes forward again, vying for the correct response. This isn't working out at all like he had envisioned; his perfect plan is falling apart in his none too careful hands.

"Xigbar…Xig…?" He says it desperately, tears already stinging the corners of his beautiful eyes. He reaches to grab his lover's hand, and his breath hitches when the hand is jerked away.

"Ah, Dem…shit, Dem…" is all Xigbar has to say in response, running a shaking hand through his long hair. He roots a condom out of his pocket, flashes it to Demyx. "I had these for a reason, honey…but you turned it down. I thought you would be prepared to deal with the consequences."

Demyx full out sobs at this, choking out words that sound too frantic for his musician's voice.

"Please, Xig…! Isn't this great, please, tell me this is wonderful! I love you and you love me and…"

"…and I don't want kids." Xigbar finishes, cutting his babbling clean. He feels cold and awful, sick in some way as he watches Demyx fall to a crouch on the floor. Either way, he spits "You can either get rid of it or raise it on your own. I'll have no part in any of this. You were fun, Dem, you were so fun, but that's just it – you were sex. I could have stayed with you forever, but I never would have settled down with you. We all know I'm hardly the type."

"What do you mean, you're not the type??" Demyx practically screeches with a hand on his stomach protectively, perhaps in the hopes of blocking his child from hearing its father's rejection. "No, let me tell you something, Xig. _Axel_ is hardly the type, _Marluxia_ is hardly the type, so where do you get off walking out like this? Why can't you just…just fucking take responsibility?? I know you're scared…oh, baby, I'm scared too…but…but we can do this, alright? If they can do it, we can too…please, baby, don't leave me like this. Not when I need you most."

Xigbar is swayed, he would never deny that to anyone, and he loves the boy on the floor. But fear is truly the most powerful of emotions, and he would never deny that he was terrified, either. So he did what instinct dictated, and he merely looked down at Demyx.

"I'm sorry," he says, and he means it. He means it more than he has ever meant those words in his life, and he can't bear to look back at his sweet little lover as he walks out. He hears the mage's heartbroken cries all the way through the closed door to the Hall of Empty Melodies.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Marluxia lay happily with his head in Zexion's lap, enjoying the hand toying with his candy pink hair and the other one rubbing small circles onto the raised skin of his stomach. He had made it this time past the mark where he lost the last one, and the three month worry period was over as well. Zexion happily talked to what he insisted was his son, and Marluxia believed him. The grey-haired nobody had a knack for predictions, so who was going to rebuke him? Marluxia was please to just have his baby still doing fine, though he came close to losing it a month ago.

Zexion had found him bleeding on the floor, and had rushed him to Vexen. The older scientist had scoffed at first, but upon seeing the worry in his unrequited love's eyes, he admitted the assassin into his labs. He had quelled the bleeding, sutured small wounds, and took the ultrasound machine back out to examine the young man. More defined now, it had been adorably curled up, presumably sleeping. Marluxia broke out crying to see it yawn tiredly on the monitor; lips pouting like Zexion's when he relaxed them. The nose was also obviously Zexion-derived, more upturned than Marluxia's, and the younger was ecstatic.

"So…" Zexion said softly, interrupting his train of thought. It burst as easily as a bubble to his eager ears. "Have you thought of names, my dear? Don't bother with girl names – they will prove utterly unnecessary. Also, I fear a daughter of ours would be Rose or Lily if you had any say in the matter. But…Sable is a lovely name for a boy, I think."

"Hmm…" Marluxia mused, finger poised on his perfect lips. "I…I was thinking that maybe…Sunder. Yeah…Sunder would be a wonderful name for a little boy."

Zexion smirked subtly, wondering vaguely if the name had been chosen from his word of choice – 'asunder'. Either way, it rolled off the tongue and sounded fitting for Marluxia's and his son. It was just elegant enough to benefit Zexion, and just cute enough to please his lover.

"I'll tell you what," Zexion reasoned, reaching a hand under his tight shirt and rubbing his thin index finger against the assassin's now decidedly distended belly button. It had amused and intrigued the schemer, who was just now beginning to notice the all-of-a-sudden changes that had begun occurring in his lover. He continued "…if the boy has my hair, we name it Sable. If he has your hair, then he will be called Sunder. Deal?"

"Deal," Marluxia agreed, humming approvingly at his fingers. Every inch of skin had become deliciously sensitive in pregnancy, and the pink haired man enjoyed every touch with heightened senses.

Zexion took note of his stimulation, and exploited it by trailing his fingers down to his waistband teasingly, touching the darker pink hair beneath. Marluxia gasped sharply, begging for more before the elder had even gotten started. So the grey-haired man was happy to oblige, propping Marluxia up on the couch and moving him to sit in his lap as a slender hand moved to grip his ass firmly. His lover was hard already, erection straining against pajama pants, and Zexion slowly removed the hindering obstruction. The shirt came next, significantly harder to remove than the loose pants, and then Zexion set to work freeing his own arousal.

Marluxia was quick to let out a hand to wrap around his aching member, but Zexion stopped him, lifting him to straddle his thin waist. The assassin smile seductively in a knowing way before slamming himself down, perhaps a little too hard, on his hard-on.

"Easy, sweetheart," Zexion purred, keeping a hand protectively on Marluxia's rounding stomach as a silent warning. The younger heeded it well, moving slower than he normally would have under different circumstances. The lovers dueled tongues, fighting for the already established dominance as they rocked hips to an internal beat. They moved in perfect tandem with each other, each considerate of the other's wants. While Marluxia nibbled on Zexion's ear, the other set to work on marking his pale neck, just how they liked it. Such a short amount of time had them already programmed in unison like the oldest couples, and Marluxia was only too willing to cater to his lover's every want.

"I love you," Marluxia moaned sincerely in his ear, back arching to the best of its abilities as he spilled onto Zexion's taut stomach. Zexion followed suit, burying himself as deep as he would allow and coming hot into him.

Finished and more easily exhausted now, Marluxia rested his head on Zexion's chest before yawning sleepily. Zexion lifted him easily, laying him gently on the bed before curling against his back. Marluxia never slept on his back anymore; even making love in the traditional way set his back to aching, so Zexion was courteous and willing to allow him to sleep on his side. He wrapped an arm around his pink haired lover, hand on his stomach where he could almost imagine that he felt tiny little movements from his unborn son against his palm.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
_And you said "I know that this will hurt,_

_But if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse."_

Hello! Wow, I updated pretty fast this time! Sorry there was no Akuroku in this chapter, but I really needed to delve into the other two parts of the plot! I also apologize for the darker turn this story is taking - I recognize that some of you aren't going to like it. But, I thought I should clear some things up. First: Roxas is NOT in love with Riku. Sora is in love with Riku, and since Roxas's memories are all dissolving, he's started to remember Sora's feelings over his own. Two: Roxas is NOT going to take a turn for the better. The ending is not going to be a happy one, and it accurately spans the amount of time he was in the Organization, and will vaguely follow that timeline. That being said, thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing!


	11. 4 AM Forever

Second to last chapter! I think...depends on how the next chapter goes.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 11: 4 A.M. Forever

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Had it been days he slept, or years, or just a few minutes? Either way, Roxas woke to the now-foreign feeling of complete lucidity. He blinked his sky-blue eyes sleepily, for once not clouded by confusion, nor haunted by memories he was unsure of the origins of. Axel awoke to see his boy sitting up and smiling, an oddity these days, and he scooped him up into strong arms. A large, warm hand found its way to his stomach; the other cupped his cheek as chapped lips pressed to Roxas's petal-soft ones. Roxas pulled back first, pouting and looking sadly at the redhead.

"Axel…" he started, glancing guiltily at his hands and avoiding his intent gaze. "I…I love you. G…got it memorized? You can't ever forget; promise me you won't ever forget! This…today is probably the last time I c…can tell you. I'm so…afraid, Axel. I can't even…I can't even remember how we met, the first time you k…kissed me! Was it night, day, dawn? Did I cry, laugh….did I smile? Was your hair always red, or was it silver? My name…was it always Roxas? Didn't it used to be…Sora? Didn't we fall in love on the beach, or was it on a clock tower, maybe watching the sunset, on the grass…"

Axel lowered his head into the crook of Roxas's neck, breath hitching sharply as he grasped at his shirt, fingers grappling for purchase on the tight fabric. He kissed the soft skin gently, sucking and leaving marks darker than what he normally would dare do, but this wasn't like any of the other times, now was it? No…not at all, not one bit the same.

"Roxas…the name of my beautiful boy, my angel….it's Roxas. Roxas, you got that? My hair has always been red; red like the sunset. You remember what I told you that first night? Red travels the furthest, and I would travel any distance to keep you with me. I won't…I won't let you go. You can't leave me. There'll be day after day of sunsets for you to tell me you love me, okay? I love you and you…you'll love me forever. Got it memorized?"

Roxas looked out the window, eyes watering and tears spilling down his face as he whispered shakily "I…I'm not sure I do. Never let me forget…please, please, Axel…can't you keep me safe?"

The redhead looked at him, stared not for the first time since he'd met Roxas, and nodded slowly, afraid to admit he was terrified. He slid the shirt up his boy's belly, soothing the worried skin with nimble fingertips; he was so close to due. Too close to be dealing with this mental strain. The kisses pressed to the back of his neck are what he hopes are enough to convey his feelings, his determination and devotion. The tears coursing down his face are what he hopes are enough to convey his despair, his fear and devastation.

Roxas trembled and shook under his lips, arching his neck to invite more of the kisses that seared his heart, to let his lover know that he wanted more than this dismal touching. He wanted to make love one last time before he laid down in his grave; to make a coffin of their mattress where the two would fail to breathe just as they always had when they laid eyes on each other. He wanted to hear his funeral dirge in the form of gasps and moans as he said his last goodbyes; he wanted to be buried in Axel's scent.

And Axel took heed of his silent request, removing his borrowed shirt and sliding the sweats down his thin hips, fingers stroking the velvet skin as they went down and eliciting a choked out sob of a moan, teeth running down his shoulders and sending shivers down his spine. Roxas bowed his back as best he could to show his appreciation, placing a tiny hand on his strained belly but then sliding it up his own chest, teasing rosy nipples between fingertips until they rose into perfect nubs, then up further still until his hand tangled in Axel's bright hair.

Axel moaned breathily as the hand gripped his hair, turning Roxas and laying him on his back, but Roxas pushed himself back up.

"No…" he whispered, face flushed as his hands slid up Axel's shirt. "Let me do it…let me take them off."

"Anything you want, Roxy," Axel said with a grin, leaning back to let his tiny hands work and marveling over the beauty that was his little Roxas, as fleeting as the spring he brought to the Organization. It was impossible to think that in little more than a few days he would be gone, more impossible to know that he wouldn't even know his name anymore.

Once completely naked, Axel crawled on top of him, wary of his tummy as he made an arc to position himself at his entrance, green eyes sincerely meeting blue as he pushed into him. Roxas screamed, and it was ragged, teary, beautiful. Axel followed suit, husky, desperate, heartbroken. It seemed like, for once, time stilled, and it was only the two of them in love and in need. It was peaceful and everything they needed to tie the loose ends. Yes…the thread of Roxas's dwindling life was enough to tie those loose ends.

Axel held him when they were done, stroking along his side, his tummy, grinning sadly as he felt their son and watched Roxas wince in unacknowledged pain. He didn't sleep though his lover did, just stood a silent vigil over his little Icarus, who had flown too close to the sun and came spiraling back to the ground, dead. Dead, dead, his angel was dying, flickering before his disbelieving eyes. It was impossible to think that he would be left alone. And would their son live? Would Roxas live long enough to give him life? It would all be for naught if he died as well. But Axel didn't think too deep into it. Axel never searched, because he was afraid to find.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Xigbar was never too terribly careful when going through the hallway, and he rarely if ever watched where he was going. So that was how he ended up plowing head-on into a moody Demyx, who looked appalled that he dared confront him. He turned his blonde head in a way that scorned him though he didn't speak, not yet. Xigbar looked him over thoroughly for the first time since the day he jumped ship; the bulge his stomach was sporting looked more adorable than the elder was comfortable admitting, his skin looked healthy despite the bags under his ocean eyes, and his posture had altered to accommodate and protect his baggage. Demyx looked up at him with a mixture of sadness and fury, and he let loose the cannons. Demyx knew how to fire the big guns when he wanted to, and he was just as much of a straight shooter as he former lover.

"You have a daughter, Xig," Demyx said softly, enunciating just enough to get the possessives right. Xigbar felt the bullets pierce his heart. "Just thought you should know."

And then he was gone, bustling around in the clumsy way he did, never daring to look back. Xigbar stood stationary in the middle of the hall, a hand over his heart and bleeding a desperate love for his lover and child…his daughter. But a good soldier never cried, never admitted defeat, and Xigbar was entirely too proud to go crawling back.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Roxas had been out for days, and he was still in a state of semi-consciousness when he went into labor. The only indicators for Axel to pick up on were the sudden scream that ripped from his lips, and the way his boy began to sweat, a hand refusing to be torn from his aching abdomen. His eyelids flickered open and closed, emitting little slivers of blue. The redhead ran him down to Vexen, explaining the situation frantically and allowing his boy to be taken into the blonde's arms.

It took hours of meticulous surgery, but Vexen's precise hands yielded Axel's son, handing him off to the father as soon as he had been cleaned. The new father cradled the tiny bundle gently in his arms, grinning widely as he counted perfect fingers and toes, noted the rosebud mouth that so resembled Roxas's when he slept, and the shock of bright red hair on his head. Roxas stirred, and Axel bent low over him, leaning the child in towards him.

"Would ya look at that, Roxy?" Axel said, still trying to smile, tears breaking his voice. "Look at your pretty baby…come on, Roxy…hold your baby! He's so beautiful…just like his momma."

Axel set the child into his shaky arms, and surprisingly enough, Roxas held his head up. Clumsy fingers ran over the child's miniature features, the hand falling useless to his side when he was done, strength exhausted.

"….Eiri…." Roxas whispered, so quiet Axel could barely hear that he had said anything, eyes still half closed. "That's…his name. It's…Eiri…another chance for you, A…A…"

"Axel," the redhead finished. "My name is Axel. Please, baby, please….tell me you got at least that memorized."

Roxas shook his head sadly, whispering "I told you it was the last time," as his head slumped onto his chest. Axel took the baby, held it close to his chest as he kissed Roxas's pale lips one last time, then he stood up on trembling legs.

"Well, Eiri," Axel said, addressing the child by name for the first time. "Guess it's just you and me from here on out. Remember your momma, yeah? Remember him forever. He's beautiful."

Axel would never see his Roxas again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yesterday I lost my closest friend  
Yesterday I wanted time to end  
I wonder if my heart will ever mend  
I just let you slip away

4 AM forever

Maybe I'll never see you smile again  
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;  
All these words that I could never say  
I just let them slip away

4 AM forever

And I'd wish the sun would never come  
It's 4 AM and you are done  
I hope you know you're letting go  
It's 4 AM and I'm alone

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
Sorry for the long wait, and sorry again if you don't like the turn the story's taken. I prefer a nice, tormented Roxas to a happy one. Thank you so much to the people who've kept reviewing and watching, it's greatly appreciated, and frankly the only reason this story got updated.


End file.
